No More Obsession

BBB W4: 195/300
BBB W3 WI: -1.0 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -17.4lbs
Current Weight: 254.4lbs

I lost another pound!!!!

Weight loss 3 weeks in a row!!!!

Since the first 3 weeks of the year that's been unheard of. My body is cooperating. In fact, it's just doing what it does and I am no longer trying to whip it into shape. It is responding magnificently.

What did I change?

I stopped obsessing.

I stopped tracking every morsel.

I stopped tracking every sip of water.

I stopped tracking my fruit and vegetables.

What did I start doing?

I started to respect and trust my body.

I started to relax about my food.

I gave myself some space to be.

Specifically, I started pre-paving my food and working up the Abraham-Hicks emotional guidance scale as it relates to my body and weight loss.

I actually feel at peace now. Not resigned, but at peace!

BBB Week 3 Check In

BBB W3: 90/300, 1/25 ST, 2 stairs
BBB W2 WI: -2.4 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -16.4lbs
Current Weight: 255.4lbs

I lost 2.4lbs last week. Yippee!!!!

I'm glad to say that I did life this week an lost the weight. As I've been saying, I'm trying something very different with my food. It has nothing to do with counting anything. In fact, I'm not counting anything. However, I am eating healthy, wholesome, nourishing food that my body just loves to process. It converts the food and fat cells to fuel very, very, fast.

I still haven't been back to the gym though I did walk around the park twice on Saturday. I love walking around the park. I love going to the gym too, but there is a part of me that thinks of it like punishment. This week, I'll be working with that part of me. I just love moving my body. It is my absolute pleasure to do so.

The Green Heebee GeeBees

BBB W2: 90/300, 1/25 ST, 2 stairs
BBB W1 WI: -1.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -14.0lbs
Current Weight: 257.8lbs

For 2 weeks I've been battling the green heebee geebees. I HATE spring. I grew up in a country with 2 season: wet season and dry season. I was introduced to spring in my mid-twenties. It is absolutely HORRIBLE.

I thought I escaped it this year, but 2 weeks ago my eyes were sealed shut from itching and watering. This week, the allergy effects have turned into a head cold. I only did 210 minutes this week. It was a huge struggle. I was at home 3 days. It's just too much.

In good news, I'm down 1.2 lbs. I didn't log my food at all last week and like I said above, only 210 minutes. Go figure! I did do something very different. I listened to my body and what I wanted to eat. At times I considered doing the draconian no whites again, but I generally ate well. I ate healthy, wholesome food. Lots of fruit and veggies. Rice and pasta in moderation. Lean meat. And a few not so sweet treats (custard, sugar-free cookies). Much less struggle, angst, and frustration, I was using that on the green stuff.

I've decided to scale back to 2 strength training workouts and I MUST stretch. My arms hurt for the entire week from that session on Monday.

Challenge!

BBB W1: 60/300, 1/35 ST, --*, 0 stairs

The Burn Baby Burn challenge has begun.

I've been working with allergies for about 10 days not. Finally, this weekend I succumbed. I did my first workout for BBB today and it was great as expected. Because of the pollen, I'm breathing heavier than usual and there's a bit of wheezing. I'm going to start taking Advair again. I'm going to have to watch it.

This is usually the time of year when things get sketchy. First, I'm dealing with the pollen and I don't feel 100%. Second, I lose interest. I've added the strength training and I'm working on running the laps to take care of the boredom issue.

I'm going to find a tiny notebook and take it to my workouts to keep track of the weights I'm lifting and the circuit I'm running. This morning I did 15lbs on tricep and bicep curls, 30lbs on overhead press, fly, and row, and 50lbs on the chest press. If I remember correctly. Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt 4 laps around the track, or 1 lap out of every 10 laps.

I didn't weigh in this weekend. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. This year is about forming healthy habits. When I set up the challenges, I said I would like to:

• Lose at least 50lbs
  
• Wear 38DD or smaller bra
  
• Be able to shop at regular stores
  
• Run a 5K
  
• Hold the camel pose for 30 seconds

I'm down 13lbs and at 1lb/week I'll lose 50lbs for the year.

My bra is on the second hook and my boobs aren't overflowing from the cup. So my breasts are getting smaller.

I'm down to size 18/20 from 22-28.

I can run 3 times around the track and by the end of this challenge I'll be able to run 10 times around.

I don't know where I am on the camel pose, but I discovered the elongator during the last challenge.

Wow!!!! When I put it like that, I am making progress. I am getting healthier, fitter, and smaller.

Cool, anyway, as I was saying, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about weigh ins. I don't think I have to do much about it. I might just shift to weighing in at the gym on Friday morning without all the build up and fandango of the WW weigh in. I don't constantly check in on all the other "would likes", why do I feel like I have to constantly check in on the weight. It throws me off and I lose focus.

We'll see.

Point 2 A-Gain

B2B W13: 90/250, , 0 stairs
B2B W12 WI: +.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -12.8lbs
Current Weight: 259.0lbs

Sad thing is, I'm not even annoyed. I'm resigned. I don't know why I'm skirting the 5% goal line. Honestly, I think it's in my mind.

I'm sure someone out there would say that I'm eating something wrong. However, let me assure you that I'm tracking every morsel. This week I had 21 AP's and 11 flex points left. I eat 6-8 servings of fruit and vegetables a day. I'm exercising. I just don't know what this is about.

Please don't say the old "maybe it's muscle." I'm not buying it.

I really believe I have an internal resistance to reaching weight loss goals. I thought I could sneak by it by reaching fitness goals, but it's having a face off with me. It's not relenting.

WHAT IS IT?!!!!!

In the first 6 weeks I lost 12.4lbs. In the second 6 weeks I lost .4lbs. Anyone see anything wierd here? At least I'm losing.

Well, this is good. I'm now frustrated. AHHHHH!

In better news, I'm only 60 minutes away from reaching the Back to Basics Challenge exercise minutes goal. It's been one hell of a ride!

Mood, Uh, Scale Swing

B2B W12: 70/250, -**, 0 stairs
B2B W11 WI: +.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -13.0lbs
Current Weight: 258.8lbs

I'm in week 12, the second to last week of the challenge. I only have 10% to go to my exercise goal. Woohaa!!! I feel so accomplished and good about it.

I had a .2 gain last week. I ate every exercise and flex point - rather interesting actually. For the past 3 days, instead of focusing on the excitement and joy of getting to week 12 of the challenge and completing 90% of my goal, I fell into the soup of gain despair and annoyance. OVER POINT TWO POUNDS!!!!

Why do we do that? I said the words, "I'm not bringing in my tracker because body weight fluctuates for all sorts of reasons." Meanwhile my psyche went through the trained I don't give a F#@K response. What's that all about?

I know I'm doing well. My food is cleaner. I'm moving my body and loving it. I feel leaner and healthier. What is the deal with my mood swings that go with the number on the scale? Why go through the process?

A Pivotal Week

B2B W11: 60/250, *, 3 stairs
B2B W10 WI: -3.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -13.2lbs
Current Weight: 258.6lbs

I had a mental shift this week. I've been talking all along about choosing to be healthy, choosing to move, choosing to eat wholesome food. This week I shifted into choosing. I shifted from hemming and hawing over how much I HAVE to do this and how much I SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be eating something into doing it because I want to feel healthy. I shifted into really feeling healthy this week. I shifted into being inspired by feeling energized and invigorated. I had the mental battles over what to eat, but once I reminded myself that I'm making the choice to be healthy, the enemy (whatever it was in my head) surrendered. I felt at peace with my choices. I felt that I was moving in stride with what I said I wanted.

It happened through a series of conversations I had with friends. On Monday I was reminded that my life is not an obligation. I do have the power to create it. The activities that I engage in are activities in which I choose to engage. Exercising and eating healthy are things I chose to do at the beginning of the year. I made a commitment to change the way I see food and movement for life, not just a spurt while I'm loosing weight. No one is punishing me. The moment I let go of the battering ram, all of my choices became MUCH easier.

I also watched a Law of Attraction video that let me know that I was struggling against the natural flow of Life. My natural state is health. My being wants to be healthy, that's why it's such a strong desire. All this time I'm MAKING myself do stuff, I'm going against the natural current. I simply reframed my thinking from "have to" to "get to". I get to go to the gym. I started being appreciative of the ability to work on the treadmill. Rather than think about how sleepy I am in the morning, I thought about how exhilarated and invigorated I feel when I exercise. Instead of swallowing my veggies and suffering them until I could have the good stuff, I started to imagine clean, vital blood flowing through my muscles and organs. Healthy blood carrying the nutrients and fuel that I need to live and thrive.

Best of all, I shifted from being my best critic, to being my best coach.

Less Than 1000 Left

B2B W10: 90/250, , 0 stairs
B2B W8 WI: +1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -10.0lbs
Current Weight: 261.8lbs

I walked the park twice today for 4 miles and some change in 90 minutes. I gained 1.8 this week again, and again the receptionist tried to reason about why. I should have put her out of her misery and told her that I had dinner after 10 last night. I went to a workshop that ended around 9. Didn't get to a restaurant until after 10. Could have not eaten, but...

At any rate, I am satisfied with myself. I am eating healthy and exercising. I want to be more consistent especially with my eating. I would like to get to healthy, wholesome choice as a matter of course rather than a conscious choice. However, in the process of building the new habit, I'm in the conscious competent state. I can accept that. I'm doing well. This is the rest of my life, not one week on the scale:-)

Have an amazing weekend. It's beautiful, clear, sunny, and best of all HOT, this weekend!!!!

My Body Is A Mystery

B2B W9: 60/250, , 1 stairs
B2B W8 WI: -1.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -11.8lbs

No, not a wonderland. A mystery. (Oh, well, maybe a wonderland too.)

I'm down 1.2 lbs after last week.

I feel leaner and healthier. Yesterday I did make healthy choices at lunch and dinner, not so much for breakfast.

I'm not sure how I managed to pull off a 1.2 lb loss given the lack of exercise and eating every possible point. The WW folks used the old, "eat more", reasoning. I'm not convinced. I think my body might need some down time to catch up on all the stuff I do to it, and I need to keep it guessing. I wish it could talk back to me and tell me why it lost weight this week and gained 1.8 last week.

Alas, it can't, but I am grateful:-)

What Makes A Good Week?

B2B W8: 50/250, **, 0 stairs
B2B W7 WI: +1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -10.6lbs

This week I gained 1.8 lbs. I was expecting it after last week's 5.4 loss. However, I ate and exercised to reinforce the notion that I would gain. The mind is an interesting ball of yarn.

This week is already shaping up to be better. I usually have a field day on the weekends. I did eat some Flex points, but I didn't go wild. I did not, however, get any exercise in. I've found a few things to be key to my weight loss.

First, exercising 6 days a week is great. If I can even take a 30 minute walk that's even better. The key is to be active.

Second, when I exercise, I must make it count. That means upping the intensity on the elliptical and upping the inclines and pace on the treadmill.

Third, I must eat, and I must eat well. Lyn at Escape from Obesity said it well in her post about produce. I must eat tons of fruit and vegetables. I'm not a fruit fan, so I have to get the veggies in (about 7 servings/day). 7 Servings is not the official number, but I find I do much better with at least 7 servings. Basically, it must become very natural for me to go for veggies at every meal.

Fourth, eating wholesome food is best. In addition to lots of veggies, eating whole grains, and lean meat is best. This, again, is not rocket science, but it's a huge change in the way I treat food.

Fifth, I must diligently work on convincing my brain that healthy, wholesome food is nourishing and tasty. I must also convince my brain that the PRIMARY purpose for food is nourishment. I only eat when I'm hungry now, but the mood I'm in dictates the food I eat. I would like the food I eat to be dictated first by the level of nourishment and fuel my body will receive.

The Numbers

B2B W7: 65/250, *, 0 stairs
B2B W6 WI: -5.4lbs
Total Weight Loss: -12.4lbs

This week I lost an astounding 5.4 lbs, bringing my total weight loss to 12.4 lbs which is 10% of the weight I have left to lose to get to goal. I did 65 minutes of exercise yesterday bring my total to 1650 which is half of the minutes for my first 13-week challenge.

Oh, the numbers of fitness, health, and weight loss! I love 'em!

Quite a departure from a few weeks ago isn't it. Yes, this is a testament to how life controls our emotions as opposed to the other way around. We find if very difficult to live from the inside out, rather than react from the outside.

One Hard Lost Pound

B2B W6: 150/250, *-, 5 stairs
B2B W5 WI: -1.0lbs
Total Weight Loss: -7.0lbs

Finished up last week with 255 exercise minutes. I'm almost at 1500 which would be 10% of the goal for the year AND I'm almost half way through for this challenge. I'm sooooo excited!!!!

Down one pound last week. After the gain from the week before, I fought hard psychologically to stay on track. I wasn't any more tempted by food than I usually am, but there was a rebellious teen undercurrent that swept through the week. The big lesson for the week is that every minute, every step, every meal counts, but it's going to take persistence and patience as well.

This week started off rocky. This weekend I just had a field day. I ate whatever I wanted. I did not choose, or rather I consciously chose not to limit myself to wholesome, healthy food. I had some of the things that I'd written off my list with my ban on white stuff like hot chocolate. The interesting thing is that now that I've had the rice and the sugar, I don't really want anymore. I'm ready to get back to clean eating. My body wants it.

Update: Now I don't feel bad at all about wanting to have my rice and flour. Check out this post over at Fitness Fixation.

Stay Satisfied

B2B W3: 100/250, **, 5 stairs
B2B W2 WI: -2.2lbs
Total Weight Loss: -4.8lbs

Stay satisfied. That's what I learned last week with the discovery of the poor planning panic, and journaling about removing the white stuff from my diet.

Stay satisfied. That was the mantra at the meeting this week. AND, as the Universe knows me so well, it was also the week 3 material that I received (Staying Ahead of Hunger).

So, I'll take heed.

I'm going to allow myself to swap 5 stairs (up and down) for 1 white starch. I like to think of it as the stairs for starch program:-)

That will allow me to train myself to eat wholesome, nutritious food. It will train me to treat treats as, well, treats. Let's see if I can make an on plan week with this allowance.

Brute Force

B2B W2: 50/250, _

"Weight loss requires brute force." Those were the words affirmed by one of my co-workers. We were discussing my "diet" and exercise plan. She recently went on a fruit and vegatable "diet" to lose weight by, in her words, brute force. Except, during the holidays, in one week, she regained 6 pounds.

I prefer the axiom taught in this week's Weight Watcher's meeting: Keep It Simple and Sustainable. I really like the sustainable part. Sure the weight loss requires overwhelming force and diligence. However, if it's not sustainable, attaining my goal of losing half of me is overwhelming and tiresome. This is the overwhelming force part: tracking every point, cutting out particular foods, ensuring that I meet an exercise goal. The sustainable part: training myself to choose wholesome, nourishing foods, and being active as a part of my life.

I finished the week at 270 minutes. A real triumph for me! I ate flour on Wednesday and rice in sushi on Friday night. I took the stairs every opportunity I had except for 2 times. I was about to change the challenge and make it more complicated, but I'm not changing the challenge. It was becoming a slippery slope. It's a challenge, not a mind game. I am going to give myself one point for everytime I take a flight of stairs (up and down). I don't want the stairs to be an all or nothing.

Oh, and I lost 2.6 lbs this week.

Image by peter_w on stock.xchg.