Trusting My Body, Trusting Myself

BBB W6: 195/300

I did get 400 minutes last week!!! I went for a walk in the morning.

This week so far I'm at 195 and it feels great:-)

I haven't weighed in 2 weeks at WW. I've been weighing on my scale at home. It now reads 248lbs. My weight is going down rapidly and I'm loving it.

I got some guidance to eat more fruit, vegetables, and lean meat, less starches, sugar, and fat. I'm going to follow that guidance. I eat fruit and veggies (grape tomatoes) all morning long and I love it. I eat apples, grapes, strawberries, and the newly discovered blackberries. I also have a veggie snack in the afternoon so I don't end up feeling ravenous and wanting to eat everything in sight when I get home.

I haven't been paying close attention to (read worrying about) what I eat. I've just been eating what I want to in a given moment. I am following my body's guidance and trusting it.

Honestly, I feel a bit wobbly without the constant tracking, but every week the scale goes down. I feel absolutely wonderful that I am finally learning to trust myself. That trust has amazing consequences.

Food of the Week: Blackberries

BBB W5: 165/300

When we go to the grocery, boyfriend always tries a new food. It used to annoy me at first. I like lists, and his surprise food of the week was never on the list.

Anyway, about a month ago, I started this experiment. It's fun. I found out about grape tomatoes (so yummy), Macaroni Grill entrees in a box (good for a quick healthy meal), and steamables.

This week I'm trying blackberries.

They're pretty good. I like to put it on my tongue and press it against the top of my mouth. It bursts and the juices goes pop all over my mouth. I like them because they're popable and don't require any preparation except washing. They taste like fruit juice to me, and just a touch on the bitter side. I don't know how to pick blackberries. So, I'm not sure if it's supposed to taste that way or if I got a bad batch.

On the health and nutrition side, I learned that they're a great source of fiber, anti-oxidants, and vitamin E.

It's a keeper, even though I prefer rasperries because they taste like jello:-)

Pre-Paving Meals

BBB W4: 240/300

Marla asked in the comments yesterday what I meant by pre-paving my meals. I will preface all of this by saying that I believe we are expressions of Well-Being/God/Source/Consciousness/Spirit. I believe that we are meant to express all the goodness of Well-Being including good health. I have been working on the gap between what I believe and what I am experiencing.

At the beginning of my day, I read a passage that I'll paste below that basically lets me know that whatever I eat today is completely within the realm of things that my body can process. I remind myself that my body is made up of trillions of cells that know exactly what to do to keep me where I want to be physically. The passage is from Abraham-Hicks Mexican Cruise in 2008.

I am also working on what I really believe is possible for me in terms of losing weight.

Grace Before Meals

"I am in an environment where I have many wonderful choices relative to food and I want to know that whatever I choose my body will be just fine about.

"I like understanding that I have a body of trillions of cells who are all experts at knowing their work in my body and I am so pleased that I don’t have to have a board meeting where I instruct each one of them what they need to do while I slumber or while I walk. In other words, I’m happy that my body knows what to do.

"And I am consciously aware that my intelligent body is maintaining and doing a good job of keeping me, in terms of physicality, where I want to be.

"I am in an environment where I will have a lot of choices and I am looking forward to feeling the ease of the choices that are before me, understanding that there are no really wrong choices for me to make. That I have this resilient body, a body that understands everything about the content of the food that I’m going to be eating, that understands everything about converting the food that I’m going to be eating into the energy that I call my physicality.

"And it is pleasing to me to know that this is not something that I need to have concern about. I’ve got a body that knows what to do when I let it do it. So I’m going to be aware and maybe different than I’ve been at other times that I’ve been eating. Each time that I feel myself tensing a little bit over a choice that I might be making, I’m going to just relax and say to myself “there are no wrong choices here. There are no bad choices here. Everything that is possible here is within the comfort zone of my body in knowing what to do.”

"I know that as I’ve been living life, I have created a picture of the way I want to be, most important of the way I want to feel, most important of the vitality I want to live, also important the way I look, the way I move, the way my body continues to be, the way I feel in my clothes. All of this I’ve been putting into Vibrational Escrow and I feel confident that I’ve painted a picture that is complete and as I want it to be and I feel confident that my cells of my body, who are vibrational transmitting and receiving mechanisms, are fully aware of that image and are utterly compliant with it.

"So if I can resist my normal temptation to “freak out” over food, and instead I can replace that with an attitude of relaxing and confidence in my body’s ability to manage and know what to do, then this will be the most delightful and delicious meal of my life experience.

"I like taking myself out of the management of the cells of my body, which I’ve never had any control over. I don’t understand metabolism. I don’t know what they do. I don’t understand the chemistry of my body. I’ve read all of those books and all of them are wrong. I don’t know about that, but my body knows and I trust my body.

"So these things I do know. I know that I have created a Vibrational Escrow and I know that I have a body that I can trust and I know that I’m going to be sitting before a delectable meal and all things are going to be offered to me, and I know that all is well, relative to me and food. "

"I’ve turned it over to the aspects of my body that know what to do!

"My body knows and I trust my body."

~Abraham-Hicks, Mexican Cruise, Jan 2008

I Can Eat A Lot of Food

B2B W13: 230/250, *****, 2 stairs

Yesterday, I had a veggie filled day. I started it with an apple and a cup of grapes. I had a portabello sandwich for lunch. At dinner, I had a spanaktopita (spinach filled pastry), a salad, and veggie lasagna.

Looking back on my food this morning, I realized that I can eat so much food. One of the things that tend to occupy my mind when I'm "on a diet" is all the stuff I CAN'T have, and all the quatities I CAN'T have, and all the flavors I CAN'T enjoy. Only this morning did it dawn on me all the food I CAN have, all the quantities I CAN have, and all the flavors I am being introduced to.

This is what I mean by a core shift in the way I view food - changes in my lexicon on what I think is satisfying, shifting my focus from all the ways I'm depriving myself to all the new, healthy ways in which I'm indulging myself.

I feel as if a boulder was removed from my stream of consciousness.

I actually CAN enjoy food. What a concept!

Confession Time

B2B W13: 130/250, **, 0 stairs

Twenty more minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!

I'm doing it!!!!!

At least there were fewer exclamation points. Wow! Best part is that I made it through March. I can't wait to start strength training.

I'm ready for some honesty. I said I didn't know why the scale wasn't showing me the rewards of my work. However, I failed to mention that for the past 2 weeks I had pizza the night before. Half of one of those make at home pizzas each time. I feel like I lied to you and myself. I'm sorry. I won't wallow in the guilt though. I'm just going to be honest with myself.

I do need to find a way to decompress in the evenings and especially on Friday evenings. I feel like the end of the week. I've had all my veggies. I ate clean. I can have whatever I want. The issue is that I use food to decompress when there's a multitude of other ways. I think I'm going to go for a manicure or pedicure or something like that. I just need to decompress. I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything that requires thought or energy. I just want to chill. Not veg, just chill.

Any suggestions?

Burn Baby Burn

B2B W12: 250/250, -*****, 10 stairs

Today I ran around the track FOUR times!!! I did one whole and two 1 1/2 laps. I tried to do 2 in a row, but I'm not ready...YET :-D

I feel like Christmas. I've been itching to reveal, no unveil, no present, oooh, so excited....I've been itching to unveil - yes, that sounds right - the next challenge.

The next challenge is called Burn Baby Burn. The purpose of the challenge is to kick my metabolism into high gear. I want my body to be an efficient fat burning machine. To that end, I'm kicking up my cardio intensity and adding strength training to the routine.

The Challenge will run from April 6th to July 5th. It's going to get me through Memorial and Independence day holidays. I'm looking forward to that. Memorial day I'm usually in Miami with family. This year DBF and I are contemplating a cruise. It's going to be fun:-)

Burn Baby Burn Challenge

• Exercise 3900 minutes (includes strength training)
  
• Complete 35 30-minute strength training workouts
  
• Increase running to 10 track laps
  
• Eat on plan every day

Eating on plan means I:

• Eat within my points
  
• Drink at least 48 oz of water
  
• Eat at least 6 servings of fruit and vegetables

I'm going to take the stairs as much as possible. I'll be accruing them during this challenge for use in the next challenge.

Everyone is free to join. Let me know in the comments if you're game so we can keep in touch and cheer each other on.

The next challenge you ask?

Yes, I'm already thinking about the 3rd quarter challenge. That challenge is going to be dedicated to eating optimally, if I don't accidentally do it during this one:-) I'm thinking that I'm going to use the stairs accrued during Burn Baby Burn for a Stairs to Starch program in Heading to the Beach (South Beach, that is).

Why don't I do that now you ask?

Well, I want to win. I already have enough changes going on in this challenge. I'm upping my exercise goal from 3300 minutes to 3900 minutes. I'm introducing strength training. And I'm starting the running program early. I think that's enough.

Food is going to require concentrated effort to move from healthy choices to optimal eating. Right now, I'm comfortable with my food. I am upping the fruit and veggie intake from 5 to 6, but I do that now anyway. I am still changing my food lexicon and the way I view food. I'm still consciously choosing healthy, wholesome foods. I would like, during this challenge, for that choice to be unconscious. In other words, I want the healthy choices habit installed completely before I start letting go of the training wheels.

The Heading to the Beach challenge will be a precursor to taking off the tracking training wheels. I've said all along that I want to develop a healthy lifestyle. This year is about transitioning to that. It's all about making healthy choices and being active. The weight will melt of as a result of making healthy choices and being active. I'm thinking beyond that point. I have no intention of tracking every morsel I eat or obsessing over what food I'm eating for the rest of my life.

Being healthy will become like driving a car for me. Sure I pay attention to signals and sounds when I'm driving, but I can also talk on the phone, listen to the radio, or speak to a passenger (sometimes all at the same time) while driving because driving itself is an installed habit.

Less Than 500 Minutes To Go

B2B W11: 235/250, *****, 12 stairs

And more than 2 weeks to do it in!!! That means that I'll definitely surpass my goal.

My food is very good. I started eating just fruit in the morning and that's worked out really well. During the day at work, my food choices are very healthy and wholesome. I bring my breakfast (fruit) and snacks (fruit, veggies, cheese). I go out to lunch everyday. I eat well there. Then I go home in the evening. I want to start eating cleaner in the evening.

By the time I'm done with work, I've surpassed my veggie goal for the day. In the evening, I don't go on a spree, but I don't eat the healthiest, wholesomist (should be a word) food either. At the end of the work day I feel mentally exhausted. I often just want to take a nap or at the very least sit in a chair and sip a cup of tea. Duh!!! Why don't I just do that? I just want to have 30 minutes of silence.

DBF, who's an extrovert, works at home all day. He picks me up. From the moment he picks me up, bless his heart, he starts talking. Just at the moment I don't want to talk. TO ANYBODY.

The reason this is important is that while I don't eat when I'm not hungry. The mood I'm in when I'm hungry sometimes dictates the food that I choose to eat. I am working myself out of that habit. However, on the other end, I really would like some Calgon time when I get home. It will help me to make more nourishing food choices. I LOVE making nourishing food choices.

I am finding that as I choose healthy, wholesome food, my points automatically come into alignment. This is what I want. At some point, I'm going to take off the points training wheels and just eat the foods I choose to eat. I want to choose those nourishing foods. The other reason I want to develop the healthy eating habit is that I don't want to obsess about what I'm putting into my mouth for the rest of my life. I'm re-wiring my subconscious. I want nourishing eating, healthy habits, and activity to be infused into who I am.

The Next Challenge

B2B W11: 185/250, ****, 9 stairs

My veggie of the week is cherry tomatoes, actually I think they're grape tomatoes. They're great. I'm having them for my mid-afternoon snack instead of baby carrots. Very tasty:-)

In other news, I ran around the track 3 times again today. YAY!

I'm thinking about the next challenge. The minute challenge is 3900 over 13 weeks or 5 1-hour workouts per week. Originally, I was going to do Body for Life, but the program doesn't thrill me. It's just too complicated. I think the challenge is going to be to be able to run around the track 10 times in a workout and do 35 30-minute strength training workouts. The 3900 minute goal will stand, but it's a given. Also a given, is staying on plan with my food which has been excellent lately.

The objective of this challenge was to inculcate the habits of eating healthy and moving. I'm very pleased with the results. I still convince myself to get out of bed and to the gym some mornings, but I motivate myself with the feeling that I know I would have when I'm done, energized and invigorated. I'm choosing tasty, healthy food. Better than that, I am actually beginning to see healthy foods as filling. That's huge because I feel satisfied.

The purpose of the next challenge is to turn my body into an energetic, smoldering, efficient fat burning machine. By the end of the challenge, I want to feel highly energized and vital. I want to be able to keep up with my niece and nephew (right now just looking at them exhausts me). I'll be adding strength training to the routine, and I'm going to up my intensity on my cardio.

Best of all, I'm going to have some serious FUN!!!

Less Than 750 Minutes To Go

B2B W10: 330/250, *****, 12 stairs

I am soooooooooo excited. I feel so psyched just for meeting this goal. I didn't really think I was capable of meeting goals anymore. Shocking and sad to say, but I actually felt that way. Now I'm almost 80% to my first goal of the year.

Wow!

Food is still healthy and wholesome. I'm liking the 2 fruit in the morning. By the time I leave work, I've had 6 servings of fruit and veggies. I have 2 in the morning, 2 for lunch, and 2 for a mid-afternoon snacks. You would think I would have the mentality of oh, it's done. I won't lie. I partially do, but mostly, I want more healthy food!!!!

Exercise is great. I am pushing my intensity on the elliptical. I think of the Anti-Jared and Brandi and Lyn and KK and Diana and Jared and Pasta Queen and all the other wonderful, supportive bloggers. I imagine that the row of ellipticals and bikes and treadmills are filled with us. I think that I could be peddling alongside any one of you and I want to give my all. I also set mini-targets and I get psyched to hit them. Today I ellipticalled at 4 mph on 10/4/4/4 intervals. I burned 555 calories. Next week I want to try intervals at resistance 5. The machine automatically programs the level 10 at resistance 8. One day I will be able to do that.

This Monday I had lunch with a friend of mine and I realized that I view my life as one obligation after another. No matter how beneficial, or enjoyable the activity is at the moment, I tend to view it as an obligation. That goes for my job, my food choices, exercise, church, cooking, and so on. Everything, all of a sudden, has become a chore, rather than a joy. When I had the realization, I decided to change my perspective. And in that moment, just like that I switched. My life is filled with joy. JOY-FILLED!!!

Healthy Me

B2B W10: 280/250, ****, 9 stairs

Wow!!! I have about 25% to go. I remember in the beginning it seemed as though she was running along so slowly. Now the time is just zipping by. It's adding up really fast.

I am doing well with my food. I'm trying something different this week. For breakfast, instead of a breakfast bar, I'm having fruit. My body is just craving more nutrients. The more I exercise, the better I want to eat. The better I eat (meaning more whole, healthy food), the more whole, healthy food I want to eat. It's an upward spiral.

This morning I walked around the track and they were doing a sports conditioning class in the gym below. My goodness! I was so impressed. I now aspire to finish that class in its entirety by the time I get to onederland. They did everything. They ran, did stairs, weight bands, tricep dips, jump rope, abs, lunges, jump squats. It was truly inspiring. I found myself walking around the track faster.

Also, this morning, as I was inspired by that class, I got the inclination to walk with weights. I picked up 2 2.5lb dumbells thinking I could walk with them. HA!!! I ended up standing there doing bicep curls and stopped after 10. I soooooo need to add strength training. Can't weight to start the next challenge in 3 weeks.

I felt so healthy walking the track: healthy skin, healthy blood, healthy heart, healthy bones, healthy organs, healthy muscles:-)

Quick Check In

B2B W10: 230/250, ***, 6 stairs

I'm in training today, but this is just a quick check in. I tried the Macaroni Grill garlic herb chicken penne from the box with turkey sausage yesterday. It was delish:-)

McDonald's Is No Longer An Option

B2B W10: 180/250, **, 3 stairs

Went for a walk around the lake yesterday and did the bike this morning at the gym.

I was reading one of my favorite bloggers and I realized that I hadn't had McDonald's in about 9 months. I used to frequent them for the quick nugget meal and the Oreo concoction. When I did consulting work in the next city over, I would pick up a McGriddle on my 3-hour commute on Monday morning as a "treat". These days though, Mickey D's doesn't even cross my mind, despite having 2 within a 1 of each other and 1/2 a mile in either direction from my house.

I feel the sense of not speaking too soon, lest I get a ravenous craving for the oreo concoction. However, for the past 9 months it hasn't even been a thought. Before that for 9 months, it wasn't a thought either.

As I read this morning, it occured to me that if I could do that with MD, I could do it with anything.

Why do I feel so threatened when I realize that I can't have a particular food for a long time?

I get this panicky, what's going to happen to me, how can I live without it feel it. This is not a normal response. After all, it's just food isn't it?

Well, it's a process. Last night I contemplated going out to dinner after taking down ground beef to defrost. No particular reason to go out rather than cook. I wasn't tired. We didn't need to spend the money. There was nothing to celebrate. After DBF suggested that I cook, I found myself getting a bit biligerant. Why can't I...? It's like a little brat in my head.

I cooked anyway and it was great. I knew exactly how much and what I was eating. I made a nutritious, delicious, wholesome meal for both of us. I felt relaxed and oddly accomplished when I was done. It was a fulfilling experience. So what's that other stuff about?

I recognize that I am changing and I am willing to change. Radically, if necessary. I am willing to do what it takes to live a healthy, energized life. That isn't a short term 6, 12, or even 18 month journey then back to "normal". It's about creating a new normal where MD is no longer an option.

Progress Not Perfection

B2B W9: 265/250, *****, 8 stairs

Yesterday, I sought food for comfort. I did not eat beyond full. I stayed within points. I made healthy, wholesome choices. I had the comfort food while talking to friends about the situation. However, in the essence of full disclosure, I wanted to say that I did, in a way, turn to food. I am getting better. As they say in OA, "Progress not perfection." However, I did seek comfort in it.

On a happy note, I'm over my goal for the week, but I need to make up some minutes this week so I'll meet the goal for the challenge. I'm so excited about finishing up the first challenge for the year. I learned a lot this quarter about myself and my relationship with food. I love exercise. After drinking water it is the easiest part of a healthy lifestyle for me. I just love how my body feels when I exercise. I feel lean, sensuous, and invigorated. I feel energized. It's an easy win.

BTW, look at that chick go!

Sweatin' to the Trini

B2B W9: 220/250, ****, 5 stairs

Great workout this morning. I burned over 600 calories (603, to be exact) and I worked the elliptical at 4 mph for the first time. I did it at 4 and 10 incline intervals at level 4 resistance. I am so stoked. When I started at the beginning of the year I would do 45 minutes at a flat 2 incline level 1 resistance SLOOOOOOOOWLY. It would kick my butt. Today, I was going to the beat. I loved it!

My food is very good so far this week - very healthy and wholesome. I am finding sustainable with my food and I'm enjoying it. I'm still working on reframing how I see healthy food and I'm changing what I choose to eat. On Saturday at dinner, for example, I chose salad (which was scrumptious), instead of soup. I imagine when I'm eating veggies that they're cleaning up my blood and helping me to be lean and strong.

Exhausted and Hungry

B2B W8: 105/250, ****, 3 stairs

I feel exhausted...Sigh. I didn't get to the gym this morning because at 5:30 after going to the bathroom all I could do is go back under the covers to catch some more zzz's. I got enough hours of sleep. I just feel exhausted. So, I'm hitting the gym this evening. That might turn out for the best as there's a Zumba class I've been wanting to join forever. Today I get to check it out.

In the evenings, I feel exhausted and ravenous. I didn't do groceries this week and every day I say I'm going to the store and I don't. I don't cook either. Cooking is another key to my weight loss. If I cook 2 days a week I'm good. It's only 2 days, but it's food for 4 and the other days I choose healthy stuff at restaurants.

I'm not sure where the lethargy and hunger are coming from. They're not head things as far as I can tell. I just physically feel that way.

As I was writing this post I popped over to the Anti-Jared to read about his priorities and I was reminded again. I said earlier this week that I need more veggies. I know what happened yesterday. I ate white rice and brown sauce at the Chinese food place. Of course it was within points, but it was not healthy, wholesome food.

I've had 2 weeks of that mantra and it is not working. I was feeling energized and zippy before. Eating within points is one thing. It's quite another to eat WELL within points. That's the lasting part.

I'll say it again, I need to eat wholesome, healthy food. I can eat lots of wholesome, healthy, tasty food. When I eat white rice and white flour and sugar, I feel tired and hungry and it doesn't go away. It feeds on itself. I think I'm going to reinstate the stairs for starch program to develop that habit. I'll be able to eat the white stuff, but I'm going to have to limit it. A habit I need to develop to be healthy for life.

More Veggies

B2B W8: 105/250, ***, 3 stairs

Man, I started getting sloppy. Ever since I stopped the stairs for starch program I stopped taking the stairs. This morning I reached a new level of intensity with the elliptical workout. Boy, did it count. I even started getting a little sloppy counting my points.

Yesterday Tony, the Anti-Jared, gave props to Jennette, the Pasta Queen, as one of his inspirations. They've both lost 200+ lbs. They're both keeping it off. And do you know what else they have in common...They both follow a South Beach type diet. I started tracking Jeannette way back in the day with my first serious weight loss attempts, and I recently started tracking Tony. I'm going to take a page out of their book and bulk up my veggies. This is also following Lyn's key yesterday.

Sure you will lose weight exercising like a maniac and/or reducing your portions. To keep it off though, the successful folks have changed what they eat fundamentally and movement is now a part of their life. They eat healthy, wholesome foods, not exclusively, but overwhelmingly. This is what I'm going for, long term health and well-being.

To that end, I'm going to up my veggie count for being on plan for every challenge. So by the end of the year I'll be eating at least 8 fruit/veggie servings a day. Getting fruit and veggies in automatically reduces the other food that I eat and, like exercise, it changes the quality of the other food I eat. I feel clean and lean. I can actually feel the vitality and energy of the blood coursing through my veins. It makes me want to eat better.

I also want to find a way to incorporate regular movement somehow in the challenge. Sure it's extra stairs there, but they feel really optional. At least with stairs for starch there was a reason to get more stairs.

What Makes A Good Week?

B2B W8: 50/250, **, 0 stairs
B2B W7 WI: +1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -10.6lbs

This week I gained 1.8 lbs. I was expecting it after last week's 5.4 loss. However, I ate and exercised to reinforce the notion that I would gain. The mind is an interesting ball of yarn.

This week is already shaping up to be better. I usually have a field day on the weekends. I did eat some Flex points, but I didn't go wild. I did not, however, get any exercise in. I've found a few things to be key to my weight loss.

First, exercising 6 days a week is great. If I can even take a 30 minute walk that's even better. The key is to be active.

Second, when I exercise, I must make it count. That means upping the intensity on the elliptical and upping the inclines and pace on the treadmill.

Third, I must eat, and I must eat well. Lyn at Escape from Obesity said it well in her post about produce. I must eat tons of fruit and vegetables. I'm not a fruit fan, so I have to get the veggies in (about 7 servings/day). 7 Servings is not the official number, but I find I do much better with at least 7 servings. Basically, it must become very natural for me to go for veggies at every meal.

Fourth, eating wholesome food is best. In addition to lots of veggies, eating whole grains, and lean meat is best. This, again, is not rocket science, but it's a huge change in the way I treat food.

Fifth, I must diligently work on convincing my brain that healthy, wholesome food is nourishing and tasty. I must also convince my brain that the PRIMARY purpose for food is nourishment. I only eat when I'm hungry now, but the mood I'm in dictates the food I eat. I would like the food I eat to be dictated first by the level of nourishment and fuel my body will receive.

I Like Rice And Flour

B2B W5: 210/250, --**-, 9 stairs/-1 left

I'm citing yesterday as an off plan day because I had rice noodles for dinner. Still within points, veggies, water and multi, just had the white stuff. After this week I am lifting the restriction on the white stuff. I will still take the stairs as much as possible, perhaps some kind of bonus program. I'm still going to choose wholesome, healthy food as much as possible. I just like rice and flour too much to restrict them. Yes, I know some of you may see this as a cop out, but...I'm aware of the consequences and it's more beneficial to me to choose health than to mandate it.

I reserve the right to reinstate it.

Mindful Living

B2B W4: 280/250, ******, 18 stairs/-2 left

Oops! I guess I have to add 2 flights of stairs today and I can't have anymore white stuff. I'm determined to have a 7 star week.

I tell you what. Losing weight takes a lot of concentration, vigilance, and dedication. Last night I went to Starbuck's for a pick me up, mellow, comforting latte. I just wanted to chill. I got the tall (small) sugar free vanilla latte with 2% milk. I usually get the grande cinammon dolce latte with a slice of the pumpkin loaf. YUM!!! I recalled the no whites deal and got a packet of cashews instead. Good choice you say.

Cashews are a weakness of mine, like coffee ice cream. Such foods are no longer allowed in my house, but I can have them when I'm out because I eat it and it's gone. The cashew packet read 150 calories per one ounce serving which I quickly calculated as 3 points. For those who don't know, 1 point is approximately 50 calories. EXCEPT I didn't calculate the fat part of the points.

Prepared to take the 9 point hit, I enjoyed every scrumpcious cashew while sipping on my latte and chatting with DBF on the plush purple chaise. It was indulging. Imagine my sense of outrage when I plugged in the cashews to find that it was 12.5 points for that 3 ounce bag! AHHHHH!!!!

You know why I'm so outraged. I guess it's the sticker shock.

At any rate, I still had a glut of Flex points and all of my activity points, so it was fine.

You've got to pay attention if you want to lose weight. This isn't really a bad thing. So much of ourselves is on autopilot. We eat mindlessly. We watch television mindlessly. We sit in church mindlessly. Even when we are exerting ourselves with exercise, we want it to be numbing and mindless. We want the time to just pass by.

Losing weight is teaching me to be more mindful and present. Interesting side effect, isn't it?

Booyah!!!

B2B W3: 250/250, ******, -1/14 stairs

Look at those stars! I love this stairs for starch program. I only ate 3 whites this week. That is soooooo cool! One more stair when I go to lunch.

I got my workout on yesterday evening AND this morning. Yesterday was just a get it done day. At the end of the day the gym was packed. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and 35 on the treadmill. I had to wait around a while. This morning: 45 minutes on the treadmill, arms swinging, on the hills, 2.8 mph. Yeah baby!

The best thing about accomplishing a goal is learning to trust yourself. Every time I hit my weekly exercise minute target it sends a message to my psyche that I CAN be trusted. The stars let me know that I DO have what it takes. The stairs show me that I AM loveable. It looks like it's just numbers and my physical health, but it's restoring my mental and spiritual health as well.