McDonald's Is No Longer An Option

B2B W10: 180/250, **, 3 stairs

Went for a walk around the lake yesterday and did the bike this morning at the gym.

I was reading one of my favorite bloggers and I realized that I hadn't had McDonald's in about 9 months. I used to frequent them for the quick nugget meal and the Oreo concoction. When I did consulting work in the next city over, I would pick up a McGriddle on my 3-hour commute on Monday morning as a "treat". These days though, Mickey D's doesn't even cross my mind, despite having 2 within a 1 of each other and 1/2 a mile in either direction from my house.

I feel the sense of not speaking too soon, lest I get a ravenous craving for the oreo concoction. However, for the past 9 months it hasn't even been a thought. Before that for 9 months, it wasn't a thought either.

As I read this morning, it occured to me that if I could do that with MD, I could do it with anything.

Why do I feel so threatened when I realize that I can't have a particular food for a long time?

I get this panicky, what's going to happen to me, how can I live without it feel it. This is not a normal response. After all, it's just food isn't it?

Well, it's a process. Last night I contemplated going out to dinner after taking down ground beef to defrost. No particular reason to go out rather than cook. I wasn't tired. We didn't need to spend the money. There was nothing to celebrate. After DBF suggested that I cook, I found myself getting a bit biligerant. Why can't I...? It's like a little brat in my head.

I cooked anyway and it was great. I knew exactly how much and what I was eating. I made a nutritious, delicious, wholesome meal for both of us. I felt relaxed and oddly accomplished when I was done. It was a fulfilling experience. So what's that other stuff about?

I recognize that I am changing and I am willing to change. Radically, if necessary. I am willing to do what it takes to live a healthy, energized life. That isn't a short term 6, 12, or even 18 month journey then back to "normal". It's about creating a new normal where MD is no longer an option.