My Body Is A Mystery

B2B W9: 60/250, , 1 stairs
B2B W8 WI: -1.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -11.8lbs

No, not a wonderland. A mystery. (Oh, well, maybe a wonderland too.)

I'm down 1.2 lbs after last week.

I feel leaner and healthier. Yesterday I did make healthy choices at lunch and dinner, not so much for breakfast.

I'm not sure how I managed to pull off a 1.2 lb loss given the lack of exercise and eating every possible point. The WW folks used the old, "eat more", reasoning. I'm not convinced. I think my body might need some down time to catch up on all the stuff I do to it, and I need to keep it guessing. I wish it could talk back to me and tell me why it lost weight this week and gained 1.8 last week.

Alas, it can't, but I am grateful:-)

Not Paying Attention

B2B W8: 105/250, ******, 5 stairs

Well, I think I've left the building. This morning I forgot to pack my stash for the day (fruit, carrots, breakfast bar, cheese sticks). It just didn't even occur to me. Sigh!

That's all I have to report. I hate it when things get like this. I especially hate that I'm 100% responsible. I feel like I'm going to have to work myself back up in momentum. How could I do well for 7 straight weeks then falter like this. They say a habit is formed in 21-30 days. I'm after day 49 and my pack-snacks-for-work habit has failed.

It's going to be interesting today:-(

Weight Loss Sighting

B2B W8: 105/250, *****, 4 stairs

In the spirit of honesty and full disclosure, I'm going to say now that I've had all my flex points for the week and I'm down to 8.5 activity points plus my daily allowance. I did not go to the gym yesterday or this morning. I'm giving myself a guilt-free pass on the gym tomorrow morning.

Technically, I'm on plan, but I know what I have to do to lose weight. Not eating activity (usually 20-24) and having at least 10 flex points at the end of the week tops the list. Getting exercise time in is second. I talked about the veggies yesterday. My best bet for a loss this week is to eat tons of veggies.

I'm in Week 8 of this challenge. This is usually the time in most endeavors that I feel the fatigue of tedium. In order for me to get my morning workout, I wake up at 5:30 am. It's a great side effect as I've wanted to move my wake up time to 5 am for years. Starting Monday I want to move it to 5:15 for other reasons.

In great news, a co-worker noticed my weight loss this morning. She asked if I started walking to work again. I said no, but I'm doing WW. She said she can see it. YIPPEE!!!

I'll be using this weekend to rest, prioritize, and kick myself into gear.

Exhausted and Hungry

B2B W8: 105/250, ****, 3 stairs

I feel exhausted...Sigh. I didn't get to the gym this morning because at 5:30 after going to the bathroom all I could do is go back under the covers to catch some more zzz's. I got enough hours of sleep. I just feel exhausted. So, I'm hitting the gym this evening. That might turn out for the best as there's a Zumba class I've been wanting to join forever. Today I get to check it out.

In the evenings, I feel exhausted and ravenous. I didn't do groceries this week and every day I say I'm going to the store and I don't. I don't cook either. Cooking is another key to my weight loss. If I cook 2 days a week I'm good. It's only 2 days, but it's food for 4 and the other days I choose healthy stuff at restaurants.

I'm not sure where the lethargy and hunger are coming from. They're not head things as far as I can tell. I just physically feel that way.

As I was writing this post I popped over to the Anti-Jared to read about his priorities and I was reminded again. I said earlier this week that I need more veggies. I know what happened yesterday. I ate white rice and brown sauce at the Chinese food place. Of course it was within points, but it was not healthy, wholesome food.

I've had 2 weeks of that mantra and it is not working. I was feeling energized and zippy before. Eating within points is one thing. It's quite another to eat WELL within points. That's the lasting part.

I'll say it again, I need to eat wholesome, healthy food. I can eat lots of wholesome, healthy, tasty food. When I eat white rice and white flour and sugar, I feel tired and hungry and it doesn't go away. It feeds on itself. I think I'm going to reinstate the stairs for starch program to develop that habit. I'll be able to eat the white stuff, but I'm going to have to limit it. A habit I need to develop to be healthy for life.

More Veggies

B2B W8: 105/250, ***, 3 stairs

Man, I started getting sloppy. Ever since I stopped the stairs for starch program I stopped taking the stairs. This morning I reached a new level of intensity with the elliptical workout. Boy, did it count. I even started getting a little sloppy counting my points.

Yesterday Tony, the Anti-Jared, gave props to Jennette, the Pasta Queen, as one of his inspirations. They've both lost 200+ lbs. They're both keeping it off. And do you know what else they have in common...They both follow a South Beach type diet. I started tracking Jeannette way back in the day with my first serious weight loss attempts, and I recently started tracking Tony. I'm going to take a page out of their book and bulk up my veggies. This is also following Lyn's key yesterday.

Sure you will lose weight exercising like a maniac and/or reducing your portions. To keep it off though, the successful folks have changed what they eat fundamentally and movement is now a part of their life. They eat healthy, wholesome foods, not exclusively, but overwhelmingly. This is what I'm going for, long term health and well-being.

To that end, I'm going to up my veggie count for being on plan for every challenge. So by the end of the year I'll be eating at least 8 fruit/veggie servings a day. Getting fruit and veggies in automatically reduces the other food that I eat and, like exercise, it changes the quality of the other food I eat. I feel clean and lean. I can actually feel the vitality and energy of the blood coursing through my veins. It makes me want to eat better.

I also want to find a way to incorporate regular movement somehow in the challenge. Sure it's extra stairs there, but they feel really optional. At least with stairs for starch there was a reason to get more stairs.

What Makes A Good Week?

B2B W8: 50/250, **, 0 stairs
B2B W7 WI: +1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -10.6lbs

This week I gained 1.8 lbs. I was expecting it after last week's 5.4 loss. However, I ate and exercised to reinforce the notion that I would gain. The mind is an interesting ball of yarn.

This week is already shaping up to be better. I usually have a field day on the weekends. I did eat some Flex points, but I didn't go wild. I did not, however, get any exercise in. I've found a few things to be key to my weight loss.

First, exercising 6 days a week is great. If I can even take a 30 minute walk that's even better. The key is to be active.

Second, when I exercise, I must make it count. That means upping the intensity on the elliptical and upping the inclines and pace on the treadmill.

Third, I must eat, and I must eat well. Lyn at Escape from Obesity said it well in her post about produce. I must eat tons of fruit and vegetables. I'm not a fruit fan, so I have to get the veggies in (about 7 servings/day). 7 Servings is not the official number, but I find I do much better with at least 7 servings. Basically, it must become very natural for me to go for veggies at every meal.

Fourth, eating wholesome food is best. In addition to lots of veggies, eating whole grains, and lean meat is best. This, again, is not rocket science, but it's a huge change in the way I treat food.

Fifth, I must diligently work on convincing my brain that healthy, wholesome food is nourishing and tasty. I must also convince my brain that the PRIMARY purpose for food is nourishment. I only eat when I'm hungry now, but the mood I'm in dictates the food I eat. I would like the food I eat to be dictated first by the level of nourishment and fuel my body will receive.

The Spirited Part

B2B W7: 275/250, ****-*, 8 stairs

Just a note to let my readers know that I'm good. This blog is mostly for my expression. It's my place to babble, contemplate, and really work through all the crap that's going on in my head. I find that when I write, things become a lot clearer. Usually, if you read through the end of a post, you'll find that I'm all over it. It's just a place where I can write until I come to peace with a situation.

It might help if I explain how I believe life works. I believe that we create our lives with our thoughts. It's a belief that I grew up with. I didn't just adopt it in the past couple of years with the advent of the Law of Attraction craze. Anyway, in 2003 when I reached burnout with my job, I realized that my life was out of alignment with what I professed to hold dear. From that point on I've been consciously working on getting my life in alignment with what I say I hold dear or, in other words, changing my thoughts, beliefs, and actions. It's been an interesting journey.

I also believe that God/Spirit/Consciousness/Well-Being is expressing through us all the time. Our thoughts, a better word would be beliefs, shapes and tints that expression. I've proven this true often enough that when I see an incongruency between what I'm experiencing and what I think I believe, I dig deeper.

Along with examining my beliefs, I've decided that I want certain things in my life. These things are not in conflict with the constant expression of God. In fact, they are the manifestation of Good. (Caveat: I always leave room for my intention or better as I'm not currently aware of all that is going on in the Universe.) Back to the plot. I've learned that in order to achieve these things, or express more God, I need to clarify my beliefs. That takes a combination of forgiveness, facing fear, examining beliefs, opening to Spirit, and so on.

My focus this year on health requires the actions of eating healthy, wholesome foods, and exercising. These actions are what I like to call inspired actions. Inspired actions are the natural steps taken once you are clear. It's like the natural progression of things. On the spiritual side (this is just a euphemism, I don't think there are distinct aspects of ourselves), manifesting health is expressing God as Life.

One other interesting thing I've learned about expressing an aspect of God: God is indivisible. So I can't single out expressing God as Life. When I seek to express more of God as Life, I automatically express more God as Substance, Joy, Peace, Love, and, in general, Good. Hence the natural desiring of other intentions.

Help!!! Sabotage!

B2B W7: 165/250, ****-, 8 stairs

What the heck is wrong with me?!!!

Last night I decided to have Chick-Fil-A. Thinking that I would be way over points, I decided to not finish eating my veggies, AND have some sugar free cookies when I got home. Well. Jokes on me! Had I just used that nifty gadget I got the other day called a Blackjack, I could have logged into WW mobile, calculated my points, and known that I was fine and I didn't need to throw in the blasted towel.

I was still under points, but because I didn't eat my wonderful baby carrots which were in my bag at the movie theatre (no popcorn either, just deprivation), I was off plan. What kind of head trip is that!!!!!!!

Not only did I do that. Then I decided to say to hell with all of it, with, get this, 3 sugar free cookies. Way to be a rebel Nneka!!!

This morning I slept through the gym because as far as I knew there was no salvation. Never fear, by the hook or the crook I'll be going this evening.

Why do I do this?!!! This is sabotage. I didn't know what it was before, but I see it in living color now. SABOTAGE!

I think it was spending all that time yesterday coming up with goals. My mind must think they're poison. How did it get this way? AND, more important, what do I have to do to convince it that it's okay to have goals AND achieve them. I think I'm afraid that people will expect something from me. I don't know WHAT the deal is. Now that I've found it lurking in the corners, rest assured, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I intend to achieve my goals.

I think it's the threat of falling from a pedestal. Or maybe it's the expectations that people will have of me. "She was able to do xyz, so let's give her xyz2." Everyone else thinks I can do it, but they don't really know. A friend of mine calls it the fraud complex. You're afraid of being found out so you fly under the radar. Just good enough to get the job done and the occasional kudos, but not exemplary so you have to be an example to someone else.

Damn! I really think I'm onto something here. After the 5.4lb loss, I can marginally eat and get by and either maintain or gain. Then I can say, "Oh well, I'm just a mere mortal." Man, how does this stuff seep into my psyche.

I'm afraid to want, afraid to go for it. I'm afraid of falling from grace. I'm afraid of not being normal. I still want to fit in even though I claim to be someone who doesn't care what people think. It's not fitting in in the clothes or talk sense. It's fitting in in the achievement sense. I can't be too good, who will my peers be? Where will I belong? I can hear the goody two shoes taunts in my head. Under-achievement is a survival mechanism for a girl who's taunted on the school grounds or the teen who had her bag stolen on the first day in a foreign school, but it's a hindrance to the woman with big dreams and ideas who has great things to offer the world. There is no room for me to play small. It's detrimental to everyone.

The mind is an interesting thing. It's like a ball of yarn that a cat has been playing with. It's not simple. At one point, I thought I had to be Miss Perfect. I had to retrain myself to be authentic and vulnerable. I usually do things all or nothing, but even when I go all I don't go all the way. This was a problem before the 2003 burnout and after. Before it was just not wanting to be the over achiever. Since 2003 it's been fear of burning out again and of falling short. All of this stuff is mixed up together. It won't be a straight line to unravel it, but I am committed to doing the work because I want an exemplary life. Sometimes that does mean being an example. I know I'm one now, even if I don't have the label.

Goals, Goals, Goals

B2B W7: 165/250, ****, 8 stairs

Last night I was an evaluator at my Toastmaster's club after being away for over 6 months. As the meeting proceeded, I kept thinking to myself, "Why don't I do more of this?"

On Monday I met with a friend for lunch and we were discussing what I'm going to do with my life. She asked me what happened to my blog (Balanced Life Center). I said I stopped writing over 6 months ago. She asked why, and for the life of me all I could conjure was the pitiful, "I don't have time" excuse.

Every morning when I go to the gym I come home feeling exhilarated and infused with energy. For about a year I walked to work and back, a 1 hour round trip. I loved it. Why did I stop?

I could blame the relationship that I started with amazing DBF around the time of the pauses. Or I could blame it on the continuing education classes that I'm taking in preparation for ministerial school. I can blame it on my job. In the end though, what it boils down to are my priorities.

A few years ago, I broke myself out of the habit of saying that I don't have enough time or money. What I changed it to was that at this time I choose not to spend my time/money that way? It was a very empowering switch. It caused me to examine what I was choosing to spend my time/money on, and in many cases I simply stopped doing what was not beneficial and started doing what was. I also started to do high yielding activities.

For example, I started walking to work instead of carving out time to "exercise" because I wanted to get active in general. I wanted activity to be a part of my life. I also reaped tremendous mental capacity and wellness from walking to and from work. I felt like I owned the city. I became more extraverted. And I got the bonus of exercise.

I can manage a lot if I leverage my time and do the things that I enjoy. Instead of feeling drained and exhausted by mindless, tasking activities, I feel refreshed when I do the things that I love. I dedicated this year to working on my body, almost to the exclusion of everything else because I recognize that it takes focus. However, I won't put my life on hold for one aspect of it. There are a few things I need to accomplish in the next few years and even more that I want to accomplish.

Things I Want to Achieve by December 2010

1. Develop a healthy, lean, flexible, svelt body that weighs 135 lbs
2. Run a half marathon
   
3. Complete SEE classes
   
4. Achieve Toastmaster's Advanced Communicator Bronze
   
5. Achieve Toastmaster's Competent Leader
   
6. Generate 30,000 pageviews/month on Balanced Life Center
   
7. Maintain zero balances on credit cards
   
8. Save $10,000
   
9. Visit 2 US cities that I've not yet visited
   
10. Visit one country I've not yet visited
    
11. Go to Trinidad for Carnival
    
12. Become a US citizen
    

In addition to the above list of goals, I would like to:

• Express and experience more God
  
• Teach one spiritual education class per quarter
  
• Enjoy authentic, loving, soulful relationships
  
• Attend a New Thought or BlogHer conference
• Fix my teeth
  

What does all of this have to do with weight loss? Well, in short, I am getting clearer on the direction I'd like my life to take. I have found in the past that as my body shrinks, my life gets bigger. I gain confidence and assuredness (not certain that's a word). I become steadfast. As I am able to meet any commitment that I make to myself, whether it be eating healthy, or exercising, or meditating daily, I begin to trust myself to make bigger and bigger commitments. My life opens up. This is a wonderful side effect of the year of the body.

B2B Challenge Review

B2B W7: 115/250, **, 3 stairs

Wow! Week 7 of the Back to Basics Challenge! Halfway through my minutes. Eating on plan has been sketchy and the definition changed a few times. I'm comfortable with where it is now. I'm tempted to make this more complicated with a points system to keep it interesting. Funny how I can get "bored" with something in just 6 weeks.

There are some things I would like to push to do. They're mostly in the arena of increasing my exercise intensity. I would like to be able to walk at 3.2 miles per hour on hills going into the 3rd quarter of the year. That's when I start C25K. I can push myself of the elliptical really easy, but on the treadmill, I'm a wuss at 2.8 mph. I really want to be able to run, but I HATE the treadmill. The B2B challenge is just about building good habits. The next challenge will be about doing it well.

Yes, I could walk on the track at the gym, but machines are callibrated and I can tell how fast I'm going and I can make them make me go faster. When I'm freestyle walking, it's very difficult for me to up my intensity, unless I'm going from walking to running. Over long (and I do mean looooong) periods I can see my time improve, but nothing beats upping the intensity on a machine and going faster or harder and knowing it.

I'm really looking forward to adding strength training in the next challenge and I almost want to jump the gun on it. When I created the challenges back in December, I thought I would to the Body For Life strength training routine because it seems to be the most comprehensive. If you know of another really structured plan that's simpler, please let me know. I'm thinking of just doing 3 sets of 12 reps on each machine alternating with upper body and lower body days, one machine per muscle group. I like the idea of keeping my workout pace up, but I don't know what's meant by keeping the pace up. I'm not into expensive equipment so I won't get a heart rate monitor.

Also, at the beginning of this challenge, I set the reward of going to the hairdresser if I have a complete on plan week and did my minutes. Getting my minutes in has been relatively easy. I've only had one on plan week and I didn't take the reward for that week as it was also the week I gained .2 lbs and I was fuming.

Picture by Andy Shaffer

The Numbers

B2B W7: 65/250, *, 0 stairs
B2B W6 WI: -5.4lbs
Total Weight Loss: -12.4lbs

This week I lost an astounding 5.4 lbs, bringing my total weight loss to 12.4 lbs which is 10% of the weight I have left to lose to get to goal. I did 65 minutes of exercise yesterday bring my total to 1650 which is half of the minutes for my first 13-week challenge.

Oh, the numbers of fitness, health, and weight loss! I love 'em!

Quite a departure from a few weeks ago isn't it. Yes, this is a testament to how life controls our emotions as opposed to the other way around. We find if very difficult to live from the inside out, rather than react from the outside.

A Bit Under The Weather

B2B W6: 250/250, *-***, 8 stairs

I can't even believe I got to the gym today and did 50 minutes on the elliptical. I'm feeling a bit under the weather and, usually, at the first hint of a cold, I get punkish. I use it as an excuse not to do anything. Also usually, at the first hint of a cold, I get very protective of my chest as I have asthma. The last time I disregarded a cold I ended up in the hospital overnight. Since then I've been overly cautious. But this time, my body is achy and I'm coughing, but my chest is clear. So, because of that, I've put myself in the fine enough to get to work, therefore workout, category. However, the last time I had this achy, nothing wrong with my chest, but I feel like shit feeling, I had strep...So, you never know.

At any rate, a bit under the weather is how I'll describe it for now.

What's Keeping You Going?

B2B W6: 200/250, *-**, 7 stairs

Soared over 1,500 and eek, eek, eek to the halfway point. That running girl at the top of the page is so cool.

I started to comment to this remark on SJ's post about self sabotage and it turned into a ramble. So I thought I'd just post it here.

And so this pattern has repeated every time I’ve tried to diet or lose weight over the years, time and time again. Sure the food of choice changes but the pattern remains the same.

• Go on diet/change eating/eat right/exercise
  
• Lose weight/start to feel better
  
• Think: I know how to do this
  
• Self Sabotage and tell myself its okay because “I know how to lose weight”
  

I do the same thing. I did OA, had success, stopped doing what needed to be done, got angry with the program, regained the weight. Did WW, had success, thought I had it licked, relaxed, plateau-ed, regained, embarrassed to show my face again.

This time what's going to be different. To be honest, I don't know. I know what NEEDS to be different, but I don't know what WILL be different.

I'm at week 6 into it and I've set myself up the challenge, I know that helps. I've plugged into a community, I know that helps. I'm blogging and keeping it real, I know that helps. All I can do is just keep doing what needs to be done.

I'm taking it in small chunks. I'm taking it week by week as I weigh in. I'm taking it minute by minute as I watch the little ticker on my blog add up the exercise minutes. I'm taking it meal by meal as I track everything that goes into my mouth.

My boyfriend asked me why I go to WW every week. He says weighing every week is too much because you fluctuate too much and you could get discouraged. If it were over a month you'd lose and it'll show consistently.

My response.

I need to check in every week because it gives me a heads up on how I'm doing. It's a reminder that I'm working on this. It keeps me on course. A week is just enough time to make a difference and short enough in my mind that I can MAKE it to the next one. Having a weekly exercise goal helps me to look forward to achieving something even if it doesn't show up on the scale. I think about my next gym visit and the minutes I'll get from the moment I leave the gym. I actually look forward to it. It sets the tone for my day. I can do 24 hours between workouts, 7 days between weigh-ins. I love seeing every minute rack up.

Something in me keeps going, this is not a way to live. My response to it is that this is the way I need to live now. I don't know what's going to happen after the 135 lbs are gone. I know that between now and then I must devise a way to eat that is sustainable. I have 135 lbs, scratch that 129.8 lbs, to retrain my mind.

Maybe that's the thing that scares me. Maybe, it's that I'm running out of time to get it right. Maybe I don't want the thrill of the challenge to be gone. Maybe, it begs the question, "What next?"

And maybe the difference is that this time I'm committed to getting to the bottom of it.

One Hard Lost Pound

B2B W6: 150/250, *-, 5 stairs
B2B W5 WI: -1.0lbs
Total Weight Loss: -7.0lbs

Finished up last week with 255 exercise minutes. I'm almost at 1500 which would be 10% of the goal for the year AND I'm almost half way through for this challenge. I'm sooooo excited!!!!

Down one pound last week. After the gain from the week before, I fought hard psychologically to stay on track. I wasn't any more tempted by food than I usually am, but there was a rebellious teen undercurrent that swept through the week. The big lesson for the week is that every minute, every step, every meal counts, but it's going to take persistence and patience as well.

This week started off rocky. This weekend I just had a field day. I ate whatever I wanted. I did not choose, or rather I consciously chose not to limit myself to wholesome, healthy food. I had some of the things that I'd written off my list with my ban on white stuff like hot chocolate. The interesting thing is that now that I've had the rice and the sugar, I don't really want anymore. I'm ready to get back to clean eating. My body wants it.

Update: Now I don't feel bad at all about wanting to have my rice and flour. Check out this post over at Fitness Fixation.

For the Record

B2B W5: 255/250, --**-*, 11 stairs/1 left

Just wanted to add my minutes and document the on plan day.

I Like Rice And Flour

B2B W5: 210/250, --**-, 9 stairs/-1 left

I'm citing yesterday as an off plan day because I had rice noodles for dinner. Still within points, veggies, water and multi, just had the white stuff. After this week I am lifting the restriction on the white stuff. I will still take the stairs as much as possible, perhaps some kind of bonus program. I'm still going to choose wholesome, healthy food as much as possible. I just like rice and flour too much to restrict them. Yes, I know some of you may see this as a cop out, but...I'm aware of the consequences and it's more beneficial to me to choose health than to mandate it.

I reserve the right to reinstate it.

Ho Hum

B2B W5: 155/250, --**, 6 stairs/-4 left

Not much to say today. Last night I left work after 6:30pm. By the time I got home I was ravenous and annoyed. Thankfully I seasoned salmon the night before to throw on the George Foreman. I had some left over black eyed peas and rice. That was my meal. I had sugar free cookies for dessert. Stayed within points, but I'll be racking up the stairs for the rest of the week.

I'm So Vain

B2B W5: 100/250, --*, 3 stairs/3 left

Thanks for commensurating and rooting me on. I got an added boost from the Anti-Jared. Yes, I am that vain because it was all about me :-) Teehee!

Groceries have been purchased for the week. Got to the gym bright and early this morning. Completed 55 minutes on the elliptical as I'll have to do for the rest of the week. It was great. I did creative intervals so I had to pay attention to the dots passing by. I love that I tell myself that the pain is temporary as I try to complete one minute at resistance 4 and I up the incline to 9. It's a good game.

Food choices are back to being healthy and wholesome. Drank the water. Took the vitamins.

I wonder why I have those internal tantrums. The only one I'm hurting is myself. It's not just when it has to do with my health. I have these little rebellions for a bunch of stuff. It's so juvenile. I'd really like to get to the bottom of it.

The Psychology of a Gain

B2B W5: 45/250, --, 0 stairs/0 left
B2B W4 WI: +0.2lbs
Total Weight Loss: -6.0lbs

I gained 0.2 lbs this week.

Intellectually I know that this is virtually staying steady and that it can be caused by anything. In actuality, I am PISSED. I was more pissed on Saturday when I found out. Today, it's a minor annoyance. But this anger and annoyance plays itself out.

On Saturday when I heard the gain, the first thoughts that reeled through my mind were, "WTF do I have to do to lose a f!@king pound?" Then the bootcamp thoughts came in, "Well, out with the stairs for starch program. I'm not doing any flour or sugar. PERIOD." The leader tried to rationalize with the usual questions. Did I track? Did I eat ALL my points? Did I exercise? Is it that time of the month? The answers were yes, yes (except AP's (25) and 9 of my flex points), yes, NO. Then she asked the person next to her and she said something silly like don't eat the flex points, just eat all the activity points.

Can I just say that I HATE incompetence!!!

I just walked away saying we'll see what happens next week. Because, at that point, that was all I could do. LOGICALLY.

But since then, my mind has been running the "to hell with it" program. Did I enthusiastically go to the gym after the meeting like I do every Saturday? NO. I did manage to drag myself there for a lack luster (I could read) 45-minute workout on the bike. Did I even take the stairs up to the cardio machines? NOPE. I reasoned that since the whole stairs for starch thing was failing why bother. The food wasn't TOO bad. I stayed within points, but did I go out of my way to eat healthy, wholesome foods? NOPE. And on Sunday I didn't even get all of my water in - ordinarily a no brainer. Adding insult to injury, I didn't do my workout this morning.

All this after having a stellar 7 star week last week. (Big win. I got the last 2 stairs in.)

I was so proud of myself before that weigh in. In my mind, I finished January strong. I hurdled over the 1000 minute mark. I was eating healthy, wholesome food by choice. I was getting every vegatable in, even more than was required on most days. I was trying interesting recipes. I enjoyed trying new vegatables. Brown rice is now my friend. My food is very clean. I was thinking of interesting ways to challenge myself in the exercise realm.

All of that progress tossed for what? A point two pound gain. It seems ridiculous, doesn't it? So what do I do now?

Well, I allowed myself the little pity party. (It'll be shorter next time.) As of this moment, I am back in the game. Back to the Back to Basics Challenge. For the challenge, I'm required to exercise at least 250 minutes a week and stay on plan every day. Being on plan for the day means that I eat within my points, I eat at least 5 servings of fruit/vegatables, I drink 48 ounces of water, I take a multivitamin, and I can eat one serving of white flour, sugar, potatoes, or rice for every 5 flights of stairs I take.

It's that simple. And it's totally within my control. That's the reason I set up the challenge that way. The weight will come off if I'm on plan and I exercise. My body does strange things from week to week.