Pre-Paving Meals

BBB W4: 240/300

Marla asked in the comments yesterday what I meant by pre-paving my meals. I will preface all of this by saying that I believe we are expressions of Well-Being/God/Source/Consciousness/Spirit. I believe that we are meant to express all the goodness of Well-Being including good health. I have been working on the gap between what I believe and what I am experiencing.

At the beginning of my day, I read a passage that I'll paste below that basically lets me know that whatever I eat today is completely within the realm of things that my body can process. I remind myself that my body is made up of trillions of cells that know exactly what to do to keep me where I want to be physically. The passage is from Abraham-Hicks Mexican Cruise in 2008.

I am also working on what I really believe is possible for me in terms of losing weight.

Grace Before Meals

"I am in an environment where I have many wonderful choices relative to food and I want to know that whatever I choose my body will be just fine about.

"I like understanding that I have a body of trillions of cells who are all experts at knowing their work in my body and I am so pleased that I don’t have to have a board meeting where I instruct each one of them what they need to do while I slumber or while I walk. In other words, I’m happy that my body knows what to do.

"And I am consciously aware that my intelligent body is maintaining and doing a good job of keeping me, in terms of physicality, where I want to be.

"I am in an environment where I will have a lot of choices and I am looking forward to feeling the ease of the choices that are before me, understanding that there are no really wrong choices for me to make. That I have this resilient body, a body that understands everything about the content of the food that I’m going to be eating, that understands everything about converting the food that I’m going to be eating into the energy that I call my physicality.

"And it is pleasing to me to know that this is not something that I need to have concern about. I’ve got a body that knows what to do when I let it do it. So I’m going to be aware and maybe different than I’ve been at other times that I’ve been eating. Each time that I feel myself tensing a little bit over a choice that I might be making, I’m going to just relax and say to myself “there are no wrong choices here. There are no bad choices here. Everything that is possible here is within the comfort zone of my body in knowing what to do.”

"I know that as I’ve been living life, I have created a picture of the way I want to be, most important of the way I want to feel, most important of the vitality I want to live, also important the way I look, the way I move, the way my body continues to be, the way I feel in my clothes. All of this I’ve been putting into Vibrational Escrow and I feel confident that I’ve painted a picture that is complete and as I want it to be and I feel confident that my cells of my body, who are vibrational transmitting and receiving mechanisms, are fully aware of that image and are utterly compliant with it.

"So if I can resist my normal temptation to “freak out” over food, and instead I can replace that with an attitude of relaxing and confidence in my body’s ability to manage and know what to do, then this will be the most delightful and delicious meal of my life experience.

"I like taking myself out of the management of the cells of my body, which I’ve never had any control over. I don’t understand metabolism. I don’t know what they do. I don’t understand the chemistry of my body. I’ve read all of those books and all of them are wrong. I don’t know about that, but my body knows and I trust my body.

"So these things I do know. I know that I have created a Vibrational Escrow and I know that I have a body that I can trust and I know that I’m going to be sitting before a delectable meal and all things are going to be offered to me, and I know that all is well, relative to me and food. "

"I’ve turned it over to the aspects of my body that know what to do!

"My body knows and I trust my body."

~Abraham-Hicks, Mexican Cruise, Jan 2008

No More Obsession

BBB W4: 195/300
BBB W3 WI: -1.0 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -17.4lbs
Current Weight: 254.4lbs

I lost another pound!!!!

Weight loss 3 weeks in a row!!!!

Since the first 3 weeks of the year that's been unheard of. My body is cooperating. In fact, it's just doing what it does and I am no longer trying to whip it into shape. It is responding magnificently.

What did I change?

I stopped obsessing.

I stopped tracking every morsel.

I stopped tracking every sip of water.

I stopped tracking my fruit and vegetables.

What did I start doing?

I started to respect and trust my body.

I started to relax about my food.

I gave myself some space to be.

Specifically, I started pre-paving my food and working up the Abraham-Hicks emotional guidance scale as it relates to my body and weight loss.

I actually feel at peace now. Not resigned, but at peace!

Getting Back in the Groove

BBB W3: 210/300

It feels great to get back into the groove of things. It feels great to exercise and move my body. I love walking outside. When I walk outside, I feel like I own the neighborhood. I really enjoy that feeling. Best of all, I love it when I keep my commitments to myself.

I would really like to get a 90 minute walk in this evening. That'll just be twice around the lake. If I don't it won't be a biggie, but I would love to do it so that I can meet my 300 minute commitment for the week. It would be a big win for me.

BBB Week 3 Check In

BBB W3: 90/300, 1/25 ST, 2 stairs
BBB W2 WI: -2.4 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -16.4lbs
Current Weight: 255.4lbs

I lost 2.4lbs last week. Yippee!!!!

I'm glad to say that I did life this week an lost the weight. As I've been saying, I'm trying something very different with my food. It has nothing to do with counting anything. In fact, I'm not counting anything. However, I am eating healthy, wholesome, nourishing food that my body just loves to process. It converts the food and fat cells to fuel very, very, fast.

I still haven't been back to the gym though I did walk around the park twice on Saturday. I love walking around the park. I love going to the gym too, but there is a part of me that thinks of it like punishment. This week, I'll be working with that part of me. I just love moving my body. It is my absolute pleasure to do so.

Taking a Pass

BBB W2: 150/300, 1/25 ST, 2 stairs

I am taking a pass on this week and will begin again on Saturday. I just wanted to say that out loud (or in pixels).

At this point in every year, my resolve unravels. I feel rebellious. I get physically sick with the pollen which develops into a cold. I get tired of the weather flipping back and forth. All I want is comfort food and sleep.

This time, instead of fighting it and beating myself up for it and telling myself that I'm a wus and a failure, I'm just going to give myself a break.

For two and a half weeks, I went from itchy eyes and skin to sneezing to stuffiness. I am finally in recovery. I'm at about 80%. I feel well again. By Saturday, I will be back to 100%.

Curiously, I really do want to exercise and run and lift weights and do yoga. I really, really want to. But in the morning, my head is in a fog and I just want to create a humidifier under the covers. It's worse than winter.

But...on Saturday, it's back in the swing of things:-)

The Green Heebee GeeBees

BBB W2: 90/300, 1/25 ST, 2 stairs
BBB W1 WI: -1.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -14.0lbs
Current Weight: 257.8lbs

For 2 weeks I've been battling the green heebee geebees. I HATE spring. I grew up in a country with 2 season: wet season and dry season. I was introduced to spring in my mid-twenties. It is absolutely HORRIBLE.

I thought I escaped it this year, but 2 weeks ago my eyes were sealed shut from itching and watering. This week, the allergy effects have turned into a head cold. I only did 210 minutes this week. It was a huge struggle. I was at home 3 days. It's just too much.

In good news, I'm down 1.2 lbs. I didn't log my food at all last week and like I said above, only 210 minutes. Go figure! I did do something very different. I listened to my body and what I wanted to eat. At times I considered doing the draconian no whites again, but I generally ate well. I ate healthy, wholesome food. Lots of fruit and veggies. Rice and pasta in moderation. Lean meat. And a few not so sweet treats (custard, sugar-free cookies). Much less struggle, angst, and frustration, I was using that on the green stuff.

I've decided to scale back to 2 strength training workouts and I MUST stretch. My arms hurt for the entire week from that session on Monday.

My Arms My Arms

BBB W1: 120/300, 1/35 ST, ----, 2 stairs

My arms are in pain from yesterday's strength training. Ouch!

I have no one to blame but myself. I didn't stretch after the workout. I did cardio after strength which was interesting, but no stretching. What was I thinking?

In great news, I did 4 laps around the track this morning!!!

I wonder what it would be like when I can do a mile straight. That's going to be fun.

My food is good. I'm not tracking points. Trying something new. I'm not sure where I'm heading with this, but...

Challenge!

BBB W1: 60/300, 1/35 ST, --*, 0 stairs

The Burn Baby Burn challenge has begun.

I've been working with allergies for about 10 days not. Finally, this weekend I succumbed. I did my first workout for BBB today and it was great as expected. Because of the pollen, I'm breathing heavier than usual and there's a bit of wheezing. I'm going to start taking Advair again. I'm going to have to watch it.

This is usually the time of year when things get sketchy. First, I'm dealing with the pollen and I don't feel 100%. Second, I lose interest. I've added the strength training and I'm working on running the laps to take care of the boredom issue.

I'm going to find a tiny notebook and take it to my workouts to keep track of the weights I'm lifting and the circuit I'm running. This morning I did 15lbs on tricep and bicep curls, 30lbs on overhead press, fly, and row, and 50lbs on the chest press. If I remember correctly. Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt 4 laps around the track, or 1 lap out of every 10 laps.

I didn't weigh in this weekend. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. This year is about forming healthy habits. When I set up the challenges, I said I would like to:

• Lose at least 50lbs
  
• Wear 38DD or smaller bra
  
• Be able to shop at regular stores
  
• Run a 5K
  
• Hold the camel pose for 30 seconds

I'm down 13lbs and at 1lb/week I'll lose 50lbs for the year.

My bra is on the second hook and my boobs aren't overflowing from the cup. So my breasts are getting smaller.

I'm down to size 18/20 from 22-28.

I can run 3 times around the track and by the end of this challenge I'll be able to run 10 times around.

I don't know where I am on the camel pose, but I discovered the elongator during the last challenge.

Wow!!!! When I put it like that, I am making progress. I am getting healthier, fitter, and smaller.

Cool, anyway, as I was saying, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about weigh ins. I don't think I have to do much about it. I might just shift to weighing in at the gym on Friday morning without all the build up and fandango of the WW weigh in. I don't constantly check in on all the other "would likes", why do I feel like I have to constantly check in on the weight. It throws me off and I lose focus.

We'll see.

I Can Eat A Lot of Food

B2B W13: 230/250, *****, 2 stairs

Yesterday, I had a veggie filled day. I started it with an apple and a cup of grapes. I had a portabello sandwich for lunch. At dinner, I had a spanaktopita (spinach filled pastry), a salad, and veggie lasagna.

Looking back on my food this morning, I realized that I can eat so much food. One of the things that tend to occupy my mind when I'm "on a diet" is all the stuff I CAN'T have, and all the quatities I CAN'T have, and all the flavors I CAN'T enjoy. Only this morning did it dawn on me all the food I CAN have, all the quantities I CAN have, and all the flavors I am being introduced to.

This is what I mean by a core shift in the way I view food - changes in my lexicon on what I think is satisfying, shifting my focus from all the ways I'm depriving myself to all the new, healthy ways in which I'm indulging myself.

I feel as if a boulder was removed from my stream of consciousness.

I actually CAN enjoy food. What a concept!