McDonald's Is No Longer An Option

B2B W10: 180/250, **, 3 stairs

Went for a walk around the lake yesterday and did the bike this morning at the gym.

I was reading one of my favorite bloggers and I realized that I hadn't had McDonald's in about 9 months. I used to frequent them for the quick nugget meal and the Oreo concoction. When I did consulting work in the next city over, I would pick up a McGriddle on my 3-hour commute on Monday morning as a "treat". These days though, Mickey D's doesn't even cross my mind, despite having 2 within a 1 of each other and 1/2 a mile in either direction from my house.

I feel the sense of not speaking too soon, lest I get a ravenous craving for the oreo concoction. However, for the past 9 months it hasn't even been a thought. Before that for 9 months, it wasn't a thought either.

As I read this morning, it occured to me that if I could do that with MD, I could do it with anything.

Why do I feel so threatened when I realize that I can't have a particular food for a long time?

I get this panicky, what's going to happen to me, how can I live without it feel it. This is not a normal response. After all, it's just food isn't it?

Well, it's a process. Last night I contemplated going out to dinner after taking down ground beef to defrost. No particular reason to go out rather than cook. I wasn't tired. We didn't need to spend the money. There was nothing to celebrate. After DBF suggested that I cook, I found myself getting a bit biligerant. Why can't I...? It's like a little brat in my head.

I cooked anyway and it was great. I knew exactly how much and what I was eating. I made a nutritious, delicious, wholesome meal for both of us. I felt relaxed and oddly accomplished when I was done. It was a fulfilling experience. So what's that other stuff about?

I recognize that I am changing and I am willing to change. Radically, if necessary. I am willing to do what it takes to live a healthy, energized life. That isn't a short term 6, 12, or even 18 month journey then back to "normal". It's about creating a new normal where MD is no longer an option.

Less Than 1000 Left

B2B W10: 90/250, , 0 stairs
B2B W8 WI: +1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -10.0lbs
Current Weight: 261.8lbs

I walked the park twice today for 4 miles and some change in 90 minutes. I gained 1.8 this week again, and again the receptionist tried to reason about why. I should have put her out of her misery and told her that I had dinner after 10 last night. I went to a workshop that ended around 9. Didn't get to a restaurant until after 10. Could have not eaten, but...

At any rate, I am satisfied with myself. I am eating healthy and exercising. I want to be more consistent especially with my eating. I would like to get to healthy, wholesome choice as a matter of course rather than a conscious choice. However, in the process of building the new habit, I'm in the conscious competent state. I can accept that. I'm doing well. This is the rest of my life, not one week on the scale:-)

Have an amazing weekend. It's beautiful, clear, sunny, and best of all HOT, this weekend!!!!

The Anti-Jared Strikes Again

B2B W9: 265/250, ******, 8 stairs

Tony is amazing. If you are serious about losing weight, read his blog. He has no excuses.

This morning the alarm went off at 5:15am and I hit snooze until 5:35. I wrestled with whether or not to go to the gym and decided against. I wanted to cuddle and be held and sleep some more. And I go to the gym every day. And I've met my goal for the week. And I'm tired. And I deserve a break.

Then I read the Anti-Jared. He had a similar experience at 5:43 this morning. Go ahead, go over and read it. I'll be here when you get back.

His post made me realize again that this is not something I'm doing for the short term to lose weight. Exercising in the morning is a habit I am building for my life. It's like getting up and taking a shower, or going to work. If I treated my job the way I treat my health, I would be fired by now.

Imagine...Wakati, your job responsibilities are to eat healthy, wholesome food and exercise every day. First 6 weeks on the job, everything is wonderful. Week 7, I get some negative, constructive feedback and I say oh, to hell with this, I'm just going to do what I want now. Monday, I eat healthy but don't exercise. Tuesday is a good day, I exercise AND eat healthy. Wednesday, I exercise half-heartedly and I almost eat healthy. Thursday, I have a stellar day. Friday the same. Saturday, by some fluke, I get amazing feedback for something I did during my 6-week perfect stint.

Week 8 I decide to "get back on track". I struggle and get more negative, but constructive feedback. Should have seen it coming based on my performance last week. Week 9. This job is a chore, don't I deserve a raise yet.

Imagine if I treated my job like that. Why do I treat my health that way?

I'll be at the gym this evening. DBF should be ecstatic. He loves the sauna. I think I'll spend some time in there myself. It'll be my treat at the end of an invigorating workout. That'll be my decompression this Friday.

Progress Not Perfection

B2B W9: 265/250, *****, 8 stairs

Yesterday, I sought food for comfort. I did not eat beyond full. I stayed within points. I made healthy, wholesome choices. I had the comfort food while talking to friends about the situation. However, in the essence of full disclosure, I wanted to say that I did, in a way, turn to food. I am getting better. As they say in OA, "Progress not perfection." However, I did seek comfort in it.

On a happy note, I'm over my goal for the week, but I need to make up some minutes this week so I'll meet the goal for the challenge. I'm so excited about finishing up the first challenge for the year. I learned a lot this quarter about myself and my relationship with food. I love exercise. After drinking water it is the easiest part of a healthy lifestyle for me. I just love how my body feels when I exercise. I feel lean, sensuous, and invigorated. I feel energized. It's an easy win.

BTW, look at that chick go!

Sweatin' to the Trini

B2B W9: 220/250, ****, 5 stairs

Great workout this morning. I burned over 600 calories (603, to be exact) and I worked the elliptical at 4 mph for the first time. I did it at 4 and 10 incline intervals at level 4 resistance. I am so stoked. When I started at the beginning of the year I would do 45 minutes at a flat 2 incline level 1 resistance SLOOOOOOOOWLY. It would kick my butt. Today, I was going to the beat. I loved it!

My food is very good so far this week - very healthy and wholesome. I am finding sustainable with my food and I'm enjoying it. I'm still working on reframing how I see healthy food and I'm changing what I choose to eat. On Saturday at dinner, for example, I chose salad (which was scrumptious), instead of soup. I imagine when I'm eating veggies that they're cleaning up my blood and helping me to be lean and strong.

The Last Teen Days

B2B W9: 165/250, ***, 3 stairs

Thank God for Walk Away the Pounds. The gym is probably opening late this morning. I ventured out to find the lights out. Walked back home and did the 3 mile WATP DVD. It was a good change of pace.

I checked out my arms this morning and I noticed that the flab is going away. My clothes fit comfortably now, some are big. When I started WW they were snug. You know you get to the point where you refuse to buy a bigger size. That's where I was. Although, in some cases, since I was already at 26/28 Lane Bryant, I was petrified that there was nowhere left to go. Alas, I've retreated from that point and joyously heading in the other direction.

So Proud of Me

B2B W9: 115/250, **, 3 stairs

I ate a restaurant serving of cavatappi pasta and alfredo sauce over 3 servings. That has NEVER happened.

I ate 3 cups of raw spinach last night that was absolutely delicious.

I ventured out - and I plan to in the future - and purchased asparagus for roasting this week.

I sludged through the snow to do 55 minutes on the elliptical at the gym this morning, even though I took a snow day.

I am changing the way I look at food and being healthy and active and I LOVE it!!!