B2B W5: 155/250, --**, 6 stairs/-4 left
Not much to say today. Last night I left work after 6:30pm. By the time I got home I was ravenous and annoyed. Thankfully I seasoned salmon the night before to throw on the George Foreman. I had some left over black eyed peas and rice. That was my meal. I had sugar free cookies for dessert. Stayed within points, but I'll be racking up the stairs for the rest of the week.
Burn Baby Burn (04/04/09 - 07/03/09)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I'm So Vain
B2B W5: 100/250, --*, 3 stairs/3 left
Thanks for commensurating and rooting me on. I got an added boost from the Anti-Jared. Yes, I am that vain because it was all about me :-) Teehee!
Groceries have been purchased for the week. Got to the gym bright and early this morning. Completed 55 minutes on the elliptical as I'll have to do for the rest of the week. It was great. I did creative intervals so I had to pay attention to the dots passing by. I love that I tell myself that the pain is temporary as I try to complete one minute at resistance 4 and I up the incline to 9. It's a good game.
Food choices are back to being healthy and wholesome. Drank the water. Took the vitamins.
I wonder why I have those internal tantrums. The only one I'm hurting is myself. It's not just when it has to do with my health. I have these little rebellions for a bunch of stuff. It's so juvenile. I'd really like to get to the bottom of it.
Thanks for commensurating and rooting me on. I got an added boost from the Anti-Jared. Yes, I am that vain because it was all about me :-) Teehee!
Groceries have been purchased for the week. Got to the gym bright and early this morning. Completed 55 minutes on the elliptical as I'll have to do for the rest of the week. It was great. I did creative intervals so I had to pay attention to the dots passing by. I love that I tell myself that the pain is temporary as I try to complete one minute at resistance 4 and I up the incline to 9. It's a good game.
Food choices are back to being healthy and wholesome. Drank the water. Took the vitamins.
I wonder why I have those internal tantrums. The only one I'm hurting is myself. It's not just when it has to do with my health. I have these little rebellions for a bunch of stuff. It's so juvenile. I'd really like to get to the bottom of it.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Psychology of a Gain
B2B W5: 45/250, --, 0 stairs/0 left
B2B W4 WI: +0.2lbs
Total Weight Loss: -6.0lbs
I gained 0.2 lbs this week.
Intellectually I know that this is virtually staying steady and that it can be caused by anything. In actuality, I am PISSED. I was more pissed on Saturday when I found out. Today, it's a minor annoyance. But this anger and annoyance plays itself out.
On Saturday when I heard the gain, the first thoughts that reeled through my mind were, "WTF do I have to do to lose a f!@king pound?" Then the bootcamp thoughts came in, "Well, out with the stairs for starch program. I'm not doing any flour or sugar. PERIOD." The leader tried to rationalize with the usual questions. Did I track? Did I eat ALL my points? Did I exercise? Is it that time of the month? The answers were yes, yes (except AP's (25) and 9 of my flex points), yes, NO. Then she asked the person next to her and she said something silly like don't eat the flex points, just eat all the activity points.
Can I just say that I HATE incompetence!!!
I just walked away saying we'll see what happens next week. Because, at that point, that was all I could do. LOGICALLY.
But since then, my mind has been running the "to hell with it" program. Did I enthusiastically go to the gym after the meeting like I do every Saturday? NO. I did manage to drag myself there for a lack luster (I could read) 45-minute workout on the bike. Did I even take the stairs up to the cardio machines? NOPE. I reasoned that since the whole stairs for starch thing was failing why bother. The food wasn't TOO bad. I stayed within points, but did I go out of my way to eat healthy, wholesome foods? NOPE. And on Sunday I didn't even get all of my water in - ordinarily a no brainer. Adding insult to injury, I didn't do my workout this morning.
All this after having a stellar 7 star week last week. (Big win. I got the last 2 stairs in.)
I was so proud of myself before that weigh in. In my mind, I finished January strong. I hurdled over the 1000 minute mark. I was eating healthy, wholesome food by choice. I was getting every vegatable in, even more than was required on most days. I was trying interesting recipes. I enjoyed trying new vegatables. Brown rice is now my friend. My food is very clean. I was thinking of interesting ways to challenge myself in the exercise realm.
All of that progress tossed for what? A point two pound gain. It seems ridiculous, doesn't it? So what do I do now?
Well, I allowed myself the little pity party. (It'll be shorter next time.) As of this moment, I am back in the game. Back to the Back to Basics Challenge. For the challenge, I'm required to exercise at least 250 minutes a week and stay on plan every day. Being on plan for the day means that I eat within my points, I eat at least 5 servings of fruit/vegatables, I drink 48 ounces of water, I take a multivitamin, and I can eat one serving of white flour, sugar, potatoes, or rice for every 5 flights of stairs I take.
It's that simple. And it's totally within my control. That's the reason I set up the challenge that way. The weight will come off if I'm on plan and I exercise. My body does strange things from week to week.
B2B W4 WI: +0.2lbs
Total Weight Loss: -6.0lbs
I gained 0.2 lbs this week.
Intellectually I know that this is virtually staying steady and that it can be caused by anything. In actuality, I am PISSED. I was more pissed on Saturday when I found out. Today, it's a minor annoyance. But this anger and annoyance plays itself out.
On Saturday when I heard the gain, the first thoughts that reeled through my mind were, "WTF do I have to do to lose a f!@king pound?" Then the bootcamp thoughts came in, "Well, out with the stairs for starch program. I'm not doing any flour or sugar. PERIOD." The leader tried to rationalize with the usual questions. Did I track? Did I eat ALL my points? Did I exercise? Is it that time of the month? The answers were yes, yes (except AP's (25) and 9 of my flex points), yes, NO. Then she asked the person next to her and she said something silly like don't eat the flex points, just eat all the activity points.
Can I just say that I HATE incompetence!!!
I just walked away saying we'll see what happens next week. Because, at that point, that was all I could do. LOGICALLY.
But since then, my mind has been running the "to hell with it" program. Did I enthusiastically go to the gym after the meeting like I do every Saturday? NO. I did manage to drag myself there for a lack luster (I could read) 45-minute workout on the bike. Did I even take the stairs up to the cardio machines? NOPE. I reasoned that since the whole stairs for starch thing was failing why bother. The food wasn't TOO bad. I stayed within points, but did I go out of my way to eat healthy, wholesome foods? NOPE. And on Sunday I didn't even get all of my water in - ordinarily a no brainer. Adding insult to injury, I didn't do my workout this morning.
All this after having a stellar 7 star week last week. (Big win. I got the last 2 stairs in.)
I was so proud of myself before that weigh in. In my mind, I finished January strong. I hurdled over the 1000 minute mark. I was eating healthy, wholesome food by choice. I was getting every vegatable in, even more than was required on most days. I was trying interesting recipes. I enjoyed trying new vegatables. Brown rice is now my friend. My food is very clean. I was thinking of interesting ways to challenge myself in the exercise realm.
All of that progress tossed for what? A point two pound gain. It seems ridiculous, doesn't it? So what do I do now?
Well, I allowed myself the little pity party. (It'll be shorter next time.) As of this moment, I am back in the game. Back to the Back to Basics Challenge. For the challenge, I'm required to exercise at least 250 minutes a week and stay on plan every day. Being on plan for the day means that I eat within my points, I eat at least 5 servings of fruit/vegatables, I drink 48 ounces of water, I take a multivitamin, and I can eat one serving of white flour, sugar, potatoes, or rice for every 5 flights of stairs I take.
It's that simple. And it's totally within my control. That's the reason I set up the challenge that way. The weight will come off if I'm on plan and I exercise. My body does strange things from week to week.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Mindful Living
B2B W4: 280/250, ******, 18 stairs/-2 left
Oops! I guess I have to add 2 flights of stairs today and I can't have anymore white stuff. I'm determined to have a 7 star week.
I tell you what. Losing weight takes a lot of concentration, vigilance, and dedication. Last night I went to Starbuck's for a pick me up, mellow, comforting latte. I just wanted to chill. I got the tall (small) sugar free vanilla latte with 2% milk. I usually get the grande cinammon dolce latte with a slice of the pumpkin loaf. YUM!!! I recalled the no whites deal and got a packet of cashews instead. Good choice you say.
Cashews are a weakness of mine, like coffee ice cream. Such foods are no longer allowed in my house, but I can have them when I'm out because I eat it and it's gone. The cashew packet read 150 calories per one ounce serving which I quickly calculated as 3 points. For those who don't know, 1 point is approximately 50 calories. EXCEPT I didn't calculate the fat part of the points.
Prepared to take the 9 point hit, I enjoyed every scrumpcious cashew while sipping on my latte and chatting with DBF on the plush purple chaise. It was indulging. Imagine my sense of outrage when I plugged in the cashews to find that it was 12.5 points for that 3 ounce bag! AHHHHH!!!!
You know why I'm so outraged. I guess it's the sticker shock.
At any rate, I still had a glut of Flex points and all of my activity points, so it was fine.
You've got to pay attention if you want to lose weight. This isn't really a bad thing. So much of ourselves is on autopilot. We eat mindlessly. We watch television mindlessly. We sit in church mindlessly. Even when we are exerting ourselves with exercise, we want it to be numbing and mindless. We want the time to just pass by.
Losing weight is teaching me to be more mindful and present. Interesting side effect, isn't it?
Oops! I guess I have to add 2 flights of stairs today and I can't have anymore white stuff. I'm determined to have a 7 star week.
I tell you what. Losing weight takes a lot of concentration, vigilance, and dedication. Last night I went to Starbuck's for a pick me up, mellow, comforting latte. I just wanted to chill. I got the tall (small) sugar free vanilla latte with 2% milk. I usually get the grande cinammon dolce latte with a slice of the pumpkin loaf. YUM!!! I recalled the no whites deal and got a packet of cashews instead. Good choice you say.
Cashews are a weakness of mine, like coffee ice cream. Such foods are no longer allowed in my house, but I can have them when I'm out because I eat it and it's gone. The cashew packet read 150 calories per one ounce serving which I quickly calculated as 3 points. For those who don't know, 1 point is approximately 50 calories. EXCEPT I didn't calculate the fat part of the points.
Prepared to take the 9 point hit, I enjoyed every scrumpcious cashew while sipping on my latte and chatting with DBF on the plush purple chaise. It was indulging. Imagine my sense of outrage when I plugged in the cashews to find that it was 12.5 points for that 3 ounce bag! AHHHHH!!!!
You know why I'm so outraged. I guess it's the sticker shock.
At any rate, I still had a glut of Flex points and all of my activity points, so it was fine.
You've got to pay attention if you want to lose weight. This isn't really a bad thing. So much of ourselves is on autopilot. We eat mindlessly. We watch television mindlessly. We sit in church mindlessly. Even when we are exerting ourselves with exercise, we want it to be numbing and mindless. We want the time to just pass by.
Losing weight is teaching me to be more mindful and present. Interesting side effect, isn't it?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
1000 Minutes!!!
B2B W4: 235/250, *****, 15 stairs/0 left
One thousand tirty five to be exact. Seventeen and one quarter hours. Fifty one and three quarter miles.
I did it!!!
I crossed the 1000 minute mark today sweating it out on the elliptical machine. I did intervals today for the ENTIRE workout. 4/1 and 10/4 intervals. It is a triumph for my mind, moreso than my body. It means I CAN do it.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Goodness Me
B2B W4: 190/250, ****, 12 stairs/2 leftScale Junkie challenged us to right 10 positive things about ourselves, so here goes:
- I'm a great teacher and facilitator of adult classes and groups.
- I'm good at my job as a technical translator.
- I'm a good spiritual coach and I'm getting better.
- I am joyful.
- I can see the big picture and place people and tasks where they fit.
- I achieve my goals.
- I spread peace and joy wherever I go.
- I am a loving and generous daughter, aunt, sister, girlfriend, and friend.
- I giggle a LOT.
- My body is beautiful, curvaceous, and sensual
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Important Support-ants
B2B W4: 145/250, ***, 8 stairs/3 left
When I got separated, I decided that I didn't want to eat my way through the divorce process. I decided to only eat when hungry and until full. It forced me to deal with the emotions. I remember right when I was about to move out feeling really lonely on Mother's Day. I don't have children and my mom and I have a cordial relationship that is growing into a friendship. A tape started playing in my head about how lonely I would be, and that I don't really have any friends, and that all my friends had lives. So, to shut it up, I went through my cell phone and called every mother I knew just to say, "Happy Mother's Day".
I was surprised at the range and quantity of friends that I do have. I realized I was not alone. I was just cutting myself off from life. That's when I got in the habit of calling friends, having coffee chats, and setting up frequent lunches.
I was separated for 17 months before getting divorced (NC rules, bleh). During that time, I called on every resource available to me to keep me supported and enfolded in love. I volunteered. I called friends. I asked for a dedicated chaplain from my spiritual community. I went out with friends. I spent a lot of time in reflection and listening to India Arie. I even sent my ex's phone number to 3 girlfriends so I couldn't call him.
I became vulnerable, but authentic. I had to let myself out and I emerged whole.
Part of losing the weight is losing all the protection that I have. I erroneously think that I can protect myself if I appear to have it together, but it's the other way around. I must be vulnerable to be authentic. I must share myself openly and honestly if I want to be genuinely supported.
Yesterday I let a little me out and I received a wallop of cheers from LTer4ever, Brandi, Kud, Scale Junkie, Felicia, and Sherre. Thank you for all the support :-)
When I got separated, I decided that I didn't want to eat my way through the divorce process. I decided to only eat when hungry and until full. It forced me to deal with the emotions. I remember right when I was about to move out feeling really lonely on Mother's Day. I don't have children and my mom and I have a cordial relationship that is growing into a friendship. A tape started playing in my head about how lonely I would be, and that I don't really have any friends, and that all my friends had lives. So, to shut it up, I went through my cell phone and called every mother I knew just to say, "Happy Mother's Day".
I was surprised at the range and quantity of friends that I do have. I realized I was not alone. I was just cutting myself off from life. That's when I got in the habit of calling friends, having coffee chats, and setting up frequent lunches.
I was separated for 17 months before getting divorced (NC rules, bleh). During that time, I called on every resource available to me to keep me supported and enfolded in love. I volunteered. I called friends. I asked for a dedicated chaplain from my spiritual community. I went out with friends. I spent a lot of time in reflection and listening to India Arie. I even sent my ex's phone number to 3 girlfriends so I couldn't call him.
I became vulnerable, but authentic. I had to let myself out and I emerged whole.
Part of losing the weight is losing all the protection that I have. I erroneously think that I can protect myself if I appear to have it together, but it's the other way around. I must be vulnerable to be authentic. I must share myself openly and honestly if I want to be genuinely supported.
Yesterday I let a little me out and I received a wallop of cheers from LTer4ever, Brandi, Kud, Scale Junkie, Felicia, and Sherre. Thank you for all the support :-)
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